Normal day at work

Baton the hatches, lock up the food stores, Computers gain sentience and spout the numbers 42. Old ladies skip down the aisles, old men play boomerang with their false teeth, people slam their hands in car doors just for a red hand.... Brad is finally off to that magical place, living the dream called work.

Well it has come around again. Call the national guard, arm the cricket bats with springs, chuck slinkies down stairs, Send the military to line dancing classes, SAS to Tango classes, Import tigers that attack on command, deploy the mini robots, activate the mind control to buy the expensive things. Fire the hypno toad. Cover me I am going to work

Next time I get a call about a virus on my computer I should ask if I have to hook the romulan to gigawatts that have klingons draining the light boosters to the motherboard that is ramming the ROM drive into the squiggy dipstick. Skynet is going to ask why me in my computer before going digital pop and click

The time has come for the Lords of the Dance to emerge as protectors of the world, Goblins rise up out of the ground, The great horned man wanders the earth singing ACDC, Genies appear from Arabian nights to grant twisted wishes, Ghosts mass against masseuses, Body armour fitted with lazy rays, Gas that mutate mutants - I am off to work eventually

Time for work, deploy the cannons, Let loose the Chihuahua's of war, The pugs of New Caledonia, The snipers of Ni, Body armour stolen from the 29th Century, A horde of smart ass barbarian Huns and the bored colonists of Australia

Hi ho hi ho off to work I go. Gadget powers check, ninjas check, body armour check, power ranger powers check, the power to charm peoples socks off check, the power to the dark side check, insane doomsday weapon charging

Load up the camels, prepare the AT-AT imperial Walkers, Alert the temple of NOD, Send a telegram to the Russians, Email the American army to deploy, Send in the babies with cattle prods, Tell NASA to send Soviets to the moon, Release the Oompa Loompas with extreme caution, Throw grandmas into the shops swinging their handbags - I am going to work cover me!

Nearly that time of day again. That time where I let loose a plague of ninjas, Oompa Loompas, Munchkins, Strap on body armour, Tazer, place snipers and Centrelink personnel in strategic locations. At least I get to wear a footy shirt today, so I am in disguise.