musings of a supermarket

 

The night before the Full moon, get the interesting characters

Heard random yelling down an aisle, and didn’t react

Some random guy walks up to me and starts telling me mobile phones are controlling him, and they get him into trouble with the police.

I look at him and say ‘uh huh’ He then says that people record him on their phones as I ignore him. He walks off towards checkouts and a manager is looking out from the back area. I tell him he missed his friend and he shoots back my friend.

Apparently the checkout operators had him hanging around and telling them that a random customer is recording him and its telling him to steal.

 

A customer rang the store phone at least 5 times to tell the operator that they picked up the wrong receipt and that its illegal. Then wants to know if their card details are on their receipt to identify themselves.

 

 

Something different and strange even. Someone caught a lady mixing up all the dates with all the cheeses on purpose. When asked what she was doing, she responded with she can do it if she wanted.

That actually explains alot as a colleague recently spoke to me about people not rotating the dates on stock when filling.

 

Ahhh, the questions.

"Wheres the Mcains?"

"Mcains, what?"

"Frozen macaroni"

"Dont have any"

 

Today in supermarket wars: plums could not hitchike as they had no thumbs, berries were the best assassins as they berried everyone, grapes tried to dispute the number 42, pears went undercover as apples

Work musings

 

Random customer i helped asked if I remember some guy that I went to school with that he meets up with at the Gym.

Me: 'Yeah', no idea who that was

C: 'He is looking old now'

Me: 'We all are'

C: 'You have a point there'

All because I helped him with a bag of frozen prawn

 

 

Boss walks by telling me why i havnt finished a cage yet, just having a dig.

Customer nearby repeated the boss.

I looked at the lady around my age, 'Its just like being married' was my response.

A little later the lady did say 'bye Brad'

 

 

Lady tells me 'Service with a smile'

Actually no, laughing at you.

You wanted the small rubbish bags at the back of the shelf, but the one at the front said Medium. I pointed out twice it said small, but you wanted the ones at the back.

 

 Today in Supermarket Wars - Zombies are always in a bad mood as they cant use can openers for their cans of baked beans. We hear Brain, Brains and Urgh, Graaah. Problem is no one can understand zombie language as its a dead language. Beer nuts are alcoholic gamblers, Turkish Bread are actually Swedish.

 

Today was Daffodil day and we had to wear yellow. One of the guys at work started calling me the yellow Wiggle and I said Nah! I'm a Teletubby. The customer walking past actually started laughing. 

 

Random lady comes up to me at work and tells me she has a question that is totally out of left field. She then asks about my spyder. It wasnt that bad. Left field would be a lady asking for my kids, or wanting me. Both would send me running to hide in the tea room 

Supermarket Wars: Answering questions

 

Some of the questions I get asked I give answers that can be a little sarcastic and some misadventure mixed in

 

Lady looks at the shelf turns to me and asks “Why is the shelf empty and do you have the product, if not why not?”

Me looking at the shelf, pulls the box out and brings the product behind forward

Lady :”Oh”

 

Asked why the shelf is empty for a certain soft drink

Me: “People buy them”

 

Asked what time the delivery truck with the load arrives

Me: “How long is a piece of string?”

Also me “When it arrives”

 

People ask for the cold petfood. I send them down the petfood aisle. I happen to be watching them walk to the aisle look without going down it and walk back

Tell me its not there.

I tell them there is a fridge at the other end of that aisle

 

Asked where is the frozen vege

Me “In the freezer”

Blank look “Down such and such aisle”

 

Asked for where something is

Me “Aisle 10”

Them “Aisle 6”

Not correcting them until they tell me its not down that aisle and then I tell them I had said 10

 

Asked why we no longer have a product and if its ever coming back. I reply that I don’t know why as I don’t have that information.

Their answer to me “You don’t care”

 

Lady getting upset that I walked past her with a trolley

“You almost hit me”

Me “Did you want me to try again?”. Her husband is laughing at my comment

The art of mishearing things at work

 

Been a few years since I wrote in this blog. I really should post more in this especially since I have worked in a supermarket for nearly 20 years. I tend to say stuff that could get me into trouble in an office setting

 

I work in the cold section and can mishear things or sometimes words don’t really register.

 

Guy comes up to me and asks for Toe food. Turns out it was Tofu

 

People come up to me and start asking for Keenwa when it started to become popular, I have no idea until I find out how its spelt and pronounced Quinoa

 

Acai, although I keep pronouncing as Akasi even though its wrong and in my head it seems right

 

Someone comes up and asks for Ees. Turns out its eggs and because the person main language isn’t English it can be interesting to figure out, but mobile phones and internet helps when they have a picture.

 

Guy asks for Lancer and I say we don’t have it until I realise he is saying Garfield’s favourite food Lasagne