Questions and answers from colleagues

 

Questions and answers from colleagues

 

Would you still love me if I was a worm?

Me: No you would be bait

 

If you were a biscuit, what one would you be?

Me: One with cream in the middle so you can lick it.

Colleague walks off laughing

 

If you were a superhero, which one would you be?

Me: Wolverine

Another colleague: Superman

 

What would you prefer to be blind or deaf?

Me: Deaf as you would have a quality of life as you can see

Another colleague: Blind

 

Colleague to me: You are a good man

Me: Are you sure? I could be a serial killer

Colleague: You have a point there.

Manager walks into the lunchroom halfway through the conversation “What are the dynamic duo discussing this time?’

Supermarket Questions

 

Guy picks up torch from shelf and brings it to me as i am nearby.

'Torch doesnt work'

Me: 'It likely has a plastic tab on the battery'

'Torch still doesnt work. Do you have a battery tester as i dont want to buy it and find the battery doesnt work"

Me: 'No we dont, see the girls at the front'. If you dont want to listen, i wont tell you twice especially when it does have a plastic bit between the battery and contact.

 

One of the regulars walks up to me.

"You have some brains, you may know the answer"

Me: "I hope i have some brains"

"Oh, you" *lightly slaps my shoulder*

 

Guy asks me if we had Liddells lactose free shredded cheese.

I replied apart from the one your hand is on, no.

Not sure if i was being tested or not.

 

Chatting to an elderly guy on the registers and he wasnt quite following my instructions like being too quick off the bat using his card. His wife asks him if he is wearing his hearing aid. No was the answer.

I thought it was funny and so did they on the way out..

musings of a supermarket

 

The night before the Full moon, get the interesting characters

Heard random yelling down an aisle, and didn’t react

Some random guy walks up to me and starts telling me mobile phones are controlling him, and they get him into trouble with the police.

I look at him and say ‘uh huh’ He then says that people record him on their phones as I ignore him. He walks off towards checkouts and a manager is looking out from the back area. I tell him he missed his friend and he shoots back my friend.

Apparently the checkout operators had him hanging around and telling them that a random customer is recording him and its telling him to steal.

 

A customer rang the store phone at least 5 times to tell the operator that they picked up the wrong receipt and that its illegal. Then wants to know if their card details are on their receipt to identify themselves.

 

 

Something different and strange even. Someone caught a lady mixing up all the dates with all the cheeses on purpose. When asked what she was doing, she responded with she can do it if she wanted.

That actually explains alot as a colleague recently spoke to me about people not rotating the dates on stock when filling.

 

Ahhh, the questions.

"Wheres the Mcains?"

"Mcains, what?"

"Frozen macaroni"

"Dont have any"

 

Today in supermarket wars: plums could not hitchike as they had no thumbs, berries were the best assassins as they berried everyone, grapes tried to dispute the number 42, pears went undercover as apples